The Homesick College Student

One of the worse things a parent can do is encourage their student to come home during the first semester, ESPECIALLY if they are homesick. During the times they are making plans to come home and then when they are actually home, the students on campus are getting to know each other and making friends.

If a parent is constantly on the phone with their student or chatting with them on instant messenger, they are taking time away from the student bonding with their peers. I caution parents not to allow their needs (empty nest) get in the way of the student's needs. The student needs to be learning independence from the parent.

College is much more than academics. A college student learns to live on their own, establish and practice their values and find their success. This is as important as book knowledge. This is life knowledge.

I often cite the example of a child going to camp for the first time. They are initially miserable but then, they hit their groove and have such a good time that they are in tears when camp is over. Sure, this is an adjustment but this is a necessary life experience. A parent communicates to their child through their actions that they believe in them.

A parent needs to be encouraging their student to get involved in a campus activity. They need to be getting out of the dorm and onto the campus. There are recreational sports, clubs, student activities, and volunteer opportunities. This is where they will meet that friend that will make the difference.

If a student has a real issue with being at college on their own, my recommendation is that they complete the semester. Then make a decision about the next semester after they complete their first semester. Don't be surprised if your student decides "Well... maybe one more semester is okay!" Next thing you know, you are going to graduation.

Dr. Debi Yohn
Counseling Psychologist
President/Founder of CollegeWorks101.com

Posted on MyCollegeCalendar.org – 9/16/08